Over the Moon
by Aima D. Duragon
Summary: Remus had always been weak when it came to Sirius, though it had taken him an embarrassingly long time to realize why. But the realization had only made things harder. The secret had placed an ache inside of him, deep down in the pit of his stomach, which festered with each passing day. It gnawed at him even now, a constant reminder of the words he was longing to say. (RL/SB)


**A/N:** This is my QLFC entry for round 6! Hope everyone enjoys.

Prompt: Write about a character born in March: Sybill Trelawney, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Ron Weasley.

Word count: ~2000

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~xOx~

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Remus was curled up in the common room—minding his own business—when Sirius stormed through the portrait. It was a sight that inhabitants of the Gryffindor common room had grown used to over the years, and as such, no one paid him any mind. Least of all Remus. He'd been privy to Sirius' dramatics for long enough to know that certain moods were best not indulged.

This was one of them.

In a flurry of wild hair and billowing robes, Sirius strode across the common room and flopped down in the chair next to Remus. He gave a particularly long, loud, and unnecessary sigh—as if Remus needed any further indication of his presence. Sirius had always been something of a terror, but ever since James had started dating Lily, he'd been an absolute nightmare. Refusing to encourage Sirius' antics, Remus kept on reading.

"Remus," Sirius whined. "Entertain me."

Remus ignored him and pushed down the part of his conscience that was plucked by the notes of craving in Sirius' voice. He'd always been weak when it came to Sirius, though it had taken him an embarrassingly long time to realize why. But the realization had only made things harder. The secret had placed an ache inside of him, deep down in the pit of his stomach, which festered with each passing day. It gnawed at him even now, a constant reminder of the words he was longing to say.

"Remus," Sirius said, drawing out the vowels with a rumbling groan.

At that, Remus glanced up and frowned. "You're drunk." He snorted, trying to force the foul scent from his nose.

Sirius gave him a raucous, shit-eating grin. "Astute observation. And I'd like to stay that way if you happen to have some firewhiskey to spare."

"Seriously?"

"That's not at all how you pronounce my name."

Remus snapped his textbook shut and stood. He took a looming step forward, placing his hands on the arms of Sirius' chair and leaning over him. Sirius' dark eyes widened as they followed the motion, his smile faltering.

Sirius reeked of alcohol and smoke, a telltale red hazing his normally incandescent eyes. It made Remus want to tear his throat out.

"Come with me," Remus ordered. He brushed past Sirius without another word, his temper quaking just beneath his skin. If he didn't know better, he would've thought he was on the brink of a Change.

Remus made his way up the stairs to their dorm room and threw the door open. Luckily neither Peter nor James were in. Peter didn't need the distraction from his studies, and James would've just made the situation worse.

Stupid James and his stupid girlfriend...

Remus threw his book down on his bed and turned just in time to see Sirius meander through the doorway.

"Close the door," Remus said.

A brazen light flickered across Sirius' gaze. "So bossy tonight, Moony. If you're trying to entice me, it's working."

Remus' heart thudded soundly against his ribcage, but he was fairly certain the reaction didn't register on his face. He was also fairly certain Sirius wouldn't have noticed even if it did. Sirius liked to flirt, openly and without remorse.

Sirius lifted his heel and kicked the door shut. Even whilst drunk he was still somehow annoyingly graceful. He and James had that in common "" they seemed to waltz through the halls of Hogwarts, suspended above the sludge that all the rest of them were trudging through. But where James was water "" where James ebbed and flowed with his open smiles and his easy laughs "" Sirius was fire. He burned through everything. No emotion was half felt. No thought was half expressed. No dilemma was anything other than black or white. He was everything that Remus could never be; he was catastrophically beautiful.

"Sit," Remus said.

Sirius walked towards him, all long limbs and swaying hips. Predictably, he walked straight past his own bed and plopped down on the mattress next to Remus. He was close enough that Remus could detect the faint scents of his bergamot shampoo beneath the layers of cigarette smoke and Firewhiskey.

"Sirius." Keeping his voice even was nothing short of a miracle. "This needs to stop."

Sirius' responding smile was downright predatory. "Does it?"

"Don't be coy with me. You do remember that I'm a prefect right? According to our honor code, I should be writing you up."

Sirius leaned in even closer. "Does that mean you'd have to discipline me?"

Remus' pulse thudded at the base of his throat as heat trickled from the crown of his head all the way down his spine. He could practically feel the hackles on the back of his neck rising as his primal instinct reared its ugly head. It was only by some Herculean effort that he managed to keep his gaze away from Sirius' mouth.

"The drinking has to stop," Remus repeated, his voice lower""harder.

Something in Sirius' expression dropped. The light in his eyes grew cold as he leaned back, and Remus' stomach clenched as he watched Sirius shutter himself behind an aristocratic mask.

"What do you know about it?" Sirius huffed.

Sirius made to stand, but Remus grabbed him by the arm and yanked him back down. Even through his robes, Remus could feel the tense, corded muscle of Sirius' arm. It bunched beneath his fingers, fury roiling just below the surface.

Dark eyes hit Remus like the crack of a whip. "Let go," Sirius hissed.

"Drinking isn't going to help anything."

"Let me go, Remus!"

But Remus just squeezed harder, baring his teeth. "Look, I know it sucks that James doesn't reciprocate your feelings-"

"Stop it!"

"-but if you keep going on like this, you're going to get yourself expelled! You're-"

Remus didn't see Sirius' free hand flying towards him until it was too late. Pain seared, fire bright, across his left cheek, blacking out his vision and cutting off his words. Remus hadn't even noticed his hands had moved until he was pulling them away from his face and staring down at the blood that had pooled in his palms.

"God, Remus..."

Remus's jerked away from Sirius. He pressed his back against the headboard, his heart thundering and his breath coming too hard and too fast. The wolf inside him was snarling, poised and ready to attack. Sirius reached for him, and a sound-guttural and animalistic-rumbled in Remus' chest.

Sirius ducked his head, a soft whine vibrating his throat as black fur began sprouting from his hands and face. His nose and ears began to grow, whiskers sprouting from his cheeks and a pink tongue rolling out the side of his mouth. A moment later he disappeared beneath a mound of robes.

A black, wet nose poked out of the cloth, followed by a pair of the largest brown eyes Remus had ever seen. They stared at him, silently pleading. Sirius inched towards him on all fours, a whine pinching his throat even as his bushy tail wagged.

The wolf growled.

Sirius stopped and rolled onto his back, stretching out and baring his neck to Remus. His tail was still wagging, thumping softly against the mattress.

Remus stared down at the blatant act of submission and felt his heartbeat slow. The instinctual fog in his mind began to settle as his control over the wolf grew stronger, until he was able to lock the beast away altogether. He wiped his palms against his thighs, smearing blood on his trousers. Slowly, he extended out his hand. His fingertips brushed against Sirius' muzzle, the soft fur tickling his skin.

Whining once more, Sirius licked his palm.

"It's alright," Remus said, letting out a heavy breath. "I'm fine. It's alright."

Sirius flipped onto his feet and bounded at Remus, licking his cheeks, his nose, his mouth. A laugh bubbled up Remus' chest and burst out of him. He ruffled Sirius' fur and scratched behind his ears, not minding that Sirius' paws were digging into his stomach or that his cheek was still stinging.

With his eyes closed and his nose scrunched, it took a moment for Remus to recognize that the texture beneath his fingers had changed from fur back into hair.

"I'm so sorry, Moony."

Sirius' words were a feather's caress against Remus' ear. The heat of them burrowed into his skin and spread flame through his blood. Remus forced his eyes open long enough to cement in his mind that Sirius was definitely unclothed and this was definitely against the rules laid out in the student handbook.

With a grunt, Remus shoved Sirius back and threw a pillow to cover him. Sirius blinked at him, his eyes large and glistening.

"You should get dressed," Remus said.

"Moony..." Sirius clutched at the pillow so hard his knuckles turned white. "You know I didn't mean to-"

"It's not about that."

Sirius' shoulders fell. He looked so young, sitting there with his too long limbs and his wild mass of curls. "I don't understand why you keep doing this."

"Doing what?" Remus asked, despite already knowing the answer. The heat still simmering just beneath his skin was proof enough.

"Pretending that you don't want me," Sirius said.

Remus looked away. "Get dressed. James or Peter could walk in any moment."

"I can smell it on you," Sirius continued, blatantly ignoring him. "And I know you can smell it on me."

"Don't patronize me, Sirius."

"I'm not! I don't even know what patronize means! I'm just trying to do simple math here. I want you and you want me."

"Fine," Remus hissed, "let's humor that idea for a moment. Say we sleep together. Then what?"

"What do you mean 'then what'?"

"Do we just go on with our lives like it never happened?"

Sirius shifted, the bed creaking under him. "It's not that big of a deal, Remus."

Remus' eyes snapped up, fury and hurt raging up his throat and sharpening his teeth. "Not that big of a deal?"

Sirius expression was like a wall: unyielding and impenetrable. But even this stubborn, closed off version of Sirius was like nectar to a parched tongue. There wasn't an atom in Remus' body that didn't hunger for Sirius. Even the blood that slithered down his neck burned for him. Remus had given up fighting it long ago. Sirius might as well have been the moon.

"You really don't get it, do you," Remus said. "Crossing that line would ruin everything."

"No it woul-"

"Yes, it would! I'm not capable of it, Sirius! I can't be the person you distract yourself with while you play the fool waiting for James to come around!"

The moment the words left Remus' mouth he regretted them. He watched as they crested and shattered across Sirus' gaze. The damage was irreparable.

Silent as a ghost, Sirius stood, grabbed his robes and slipped them on. An ocean of unspoken words stretched through the air, and Remus was drowning in them. He'd been drowning in them for far too long now. And the longer he held them in, the harder it became to breathe.

It wasn't until Sirius had reached the door that Remus finally found his voice. "Sirius."

Sirius paused, the line of his back as cold as a glacier.

"I'm in love with you."

Sirius started to turn but stopped midway. His profile was silhouetted by the light pouring in from the hall - a golden lining around shades of black. "I know," he answered softly.

Tears rose in Remus' eyes and slipped over his cheeks.

"I'm sorry, Remus. I-I'll get the drinking under control." Sirius' head bowed, his hair sweeping over his eyes. "I'm so sorry."

When Sirius left, he made sure to shut the door behind him.

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~xOx~

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 **A/N:** Hope everyone enjoys how depressing I am...


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